5 reasons you should consider Group Therapy
As I was gearing up to announce our next group therapy topic, I realized that group therapy and it’s benefits are rarely talked about in contrast to the current focus on individual therapy. Of the times that I’ve recommended group therapy to clients, I recall often being met with some skepticism and preconceived assumptions about the role it plays in one’s personal development. “Why would I want to share my personal details with others when it is hard enough to do in one-on-one therapy?!” Well, the truth is, group therapy may not be for everyone. However, the benefits of it are plentiful! In fact, studies have shown that simply belonging to any type of social group can increase happiness by 30%! As an advocate for holistic healing and authentic self-discovery, I want to share with you the five main benefits that I believe group therapy offers.
Shared experience
Group therapy provides an incredible opportunity for us to see the shared experience and humanity in others. In these conversations of vulnerability, we discover that our struggles, fears, and hopes are not unique to us alone. The mirror of fellow participants reflects our struggles and triumphs, reminding us that we are never truly alone in our journey. As we hear others' stories and witness their courage, we begin to cultivate a deep sense of empathy, fostering a connection that moves us beyond our personal trials.
A Safe Space of Acceptance:
In the experience of a supportive group, we find the gift of acceptance—an environment where our unmasked selves are seen and celebrated, flaws and all. Here, judgment dissipates, making room for self-compassion to flourish. The act of sharing our raw emotions and listening to others with an open heart creates a space where authenticity can thrive. It is through this gentle acceptance that we uncover the seeds of self-love, nurturing the belief that we are worthy of care and understanding.
Mirroring for Self-Discovery:
The reflections we encounter in group therapy serve as mirrors to our inner selves. The insights we gain from observing how others perceive us can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth. These mirrors reveal patterns that might otherwise have gone unexamined, offering an opportunity to explore the roots of our behavior and beliefs. In this supportive community, we have the space to challenge and reframe our narratives, ultimately leading to greater self-awareness and conscious choices.
Shared Wisdom and Diverse Perspectives:
The group therapy experience offers the advantage of diverse backgrounds, perspectives, and life stories. Each participant brings a unique vantage point to the table, offering a wealth of wisdom and insight. Engaging with these diverse viewpoints widens our horizons, enabling us to view our challenges and perceptions from new angles. As we listen and learn from each other, we expand our emotional toolkit, equipping ourselves with new strategies for coping, healing, and growth.
Collective Healing and Empowerment:
Together, we are stronger. Group therapy harnesses the collective energy of the group to facilitate healing on a deep level. The shared intention to heal and grow creates a ripple effect that can move us past our individual struggles more effectively. By witnessing the transformation of our peers, we are inspired to take charge of our own journey. The shared victories become a testament to the our capacity for resilience, reminding us that healing is not only possible but attainable through support.
In addition, group therapy invites us to examine our own sense of self responsibility and accountability by gently revealing to us our own points of resistance through collective sharing and feedback. Of course, the fact that it does offer many of the benefits of therapy without the high cost is also a factor to consider for those who either have limited or no mental health coverage.
If this sounds like something you are interested in, check out our November Group Therapy for Anxiety and let us know what topics for Group Therapy you would be interested in, below!
INTERESTED IN GROUP THERAPY?
If you’d like to participate in future groups, please let us know what topic you are looking to address!
The Illusion of Change: How Therapy Can Sometimes Bypass True Transformation
Therapy can change lives. YES! It can truly move us into deep introspection and awareness, challenge our limiting views and beliefs and facilitate the change that propels us into a compelling future. As a therapist myself, I have witnessed the power of therapy firsthand, but I also acknowledge its limitations. In this blog post, we will examine how therapy, if not approached with caution and self-awareness, can sometimes lead us astray from achieving genuine personal transformation.
The Allure of Quick Fixes:
In our fast-paced society, we are often enticed by instant gratification and quick fixes. Therapy can sometimes become a mere band-aid solution, promising relief from our emotional struggles without addressing their root causes. The very nature of therapy itself fosters the belief that talking through our issues will automatically lead to lasting change. However, the reality is often far more complex.
The Therapeutic Process:
Therapy, in its essence, is a powerful tool that can help us gain insights into our behaviors, patterns, and emotions. It provides a safe space for self-reflection, guidance, and support. However, therapy alone does not guarantee authentic transformation. It can inadvertently become a crutch, allowing us to maintain a façade of progress while avoiding the true work required for lasting change.
Bypassing the Uncomfortable:
One of the dangers lies in using therapy to bypass the discomfort that accompanies genuine self-exploration. We may become masters at intellectualizing our issues, endlessly analyzing and discussing them without truly diving deep into the emotions they evoke. In doing so, we construct a comforting illusion of progress while circumventing the transformative power of facing our vulnerabilities head-on.
The Hidden Shadows:
Another challenge arises when therapy becomes a means to suppress our darker aspects rather than confront them. We may focus solely on the positive aspects of our personalities, neglecting the shadows that lurk beneath. By glossing over these unexplored depths, we inadvertently stifle our growth and perpetuate the cycle of superficial change.
Beyond Talk: Embracing Action:
To truly harness the potential of therapy, we must move beyond mere talk and immerse ourselves in action. Real transformation requires a willingness to step outside our comfort zones, to confront our fears, and to make the necessary changes in our lives. Therapy can be the catalyst, the guiding compass, but the true work happens when we actively engage with ourselves and the world around us.
Integrating the Wisdom of Therapy:
Therapy can indeed serve as a catalyst for genuine growth. By combining the insights gained in therapy with a commitment to self-awareness, personal responsibility, and courageous action, we can unlock the doors to profound transformation. Therapists are not miracle workers; they are guides who can help us navigate the labyrinth of our minds, but the journey itself rests upon our shoulders.
Conclusion:
Therapy, when approached with mindful intention and a commitment to self-exploration, can be a powerful tool for personal growth. However, we must remain vigilant, ensuring that therapy does not become a mere escape or an excuse to avoid confronting our true selves. Let us embrace the discomfort, face our shadows, and take meaningful action to create lasting change. Only then can we uncover the path to genuine transformation and lead lives of authenticity, purpose, and fulfillment.
Changing the present by healing the past: How Inner Child work can help us
The concept of the "inner child" has been widely discussed in psychological and spiritual circles for decades. Essentially, the idea is that within each of us, there is a part that retains the innocence, wonder, and vulnerability of childhood. This inner child can be a source of creativity, playfulness, and joy, but it can also be the root of deep-seated emotional wounds and patterns of behavior that originated from adverse childhood experiences.
As a therapist who has worked with a wide range of clients, I do believe that the inner child is a crucial aspect of our psyche that deserves attention and care and is the part that is often participating in the root cause of our symptoms as adults. When we neglect or suppress this part of ourselves, we are often left feeling disconnected, anxious, and unfulfilled.
One of the main reasons why the inner child is so important is that it holds the key to our deepest desires and needs. As children, we are naturally drawn to activities, people, and experiences that bring us joy and fulfillment. We have a sense of wonder and curiosity that allows us to explore the world around us with enthusiasm and openness.
However, as we grow older, we often learn to suppress these impulses in order to fit in with society's (and more importantly familial) expectations and norms. We may begin to prioritize practical concerns such as financial stability, career success, and social status over our true passions and desires. This can lead to a sense of disconnection and dissatisfaction that can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, addiction, and physical illness.
One of the most effective ways to reconnect with our inner child is through play and creativity. Whether it's painting, dancing, writing, or simply engaging in imaginative play, these activities allow us to tap into our innate sense of wonder and joy. They help us to break free from the rigid patterns of thought and behavior that can keep us stuck in old habits and beliefs.
Another important aspect of reconnecting with the inner child is learning to listen to and honor our emotions. As children, we are much more in touch with our feelings than we often are as adults. We cry when we're sad, laugh when we're happy, and express ourselves freely without worrying about what others think. As we grow older, we may learn to suppress our emotions in order to appear strong or in control, but this can lead to a buildup of tension and stress that can manifest in various physical and mental health problems.
By learning to acknowledge and express our emotions in a healthy way, we can begin to heal the wounds of the past and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and vitality. This process can be challenging, but it is ultimately rewarding, as it allows us to reclaim our authentic selves and live more fully in the present moment.
In the therapeutic setting, inner child work can be done through a variety of modalities and each practitioner may have their own unique approach. Often times, it is through meeting the unmet needs of our inner child that we are able to integrate more into adulthood and go deeper into personal individuation.
If you are interested in fidning our more about inner child work and feel you may benefit from it, book a free 15 minute consultation with one of our practitioners here.
How to Prepare for Therapy
Taking a step to pursue therapy can certainly be an intimidating one. How am I supposed to tell a stranger all about my personal life, or disclose some of my most private thoughts?
Our attitude towards taking this step can be dependent on many factors, such as culture, family norms, relationship with self and social adaptation. We are much less like to reach out for therapy if we feel shame around our issues, are in a cycle of denial or defense, or feel worry about being judged.
As a therapist who has seen many counsellors before, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to embark on a therapeutic journey. Yet, I also know how transformative it can be when done with intention and care. In this blog post, I will share my insights on how to prepare for a therapeutic journey, drawing on my own experiences and those of my patients.
1. Start with an open mind and willingness to explore your inner world
The first step in preparing for a therapeutic journey is to approach it with an open mind and a willingness to explore your inner world. This means being open to new experiences, ideas, and perspectives, and being willing to challenge your own assumptions and beliefs. It also means being willing to confront difficult emotions and experiences, even if they are uncomfortable or painful.
2. Choose a therapist who is a good fit for you
Finding the right therapist is critical to a successful therapeutic journey. Look for a therapist who specializes in the issues you are struggling with, and who has experience working with people like you. It is also important to find someone with whom you feel comfortable and safe, and who you can trust to guide you through the process. All of the therapists in our practice offer a free 15 minute consultation, so you are able to see who you resonate best with and can create quick rapport with.
3. Set realistic goals for your therapy
Before you begin your therapeutic journey, take some time to think about what you hope to achieve. What are your goals for therapy? What changes would you like to see in yourself or your life? It is important to set realistic goals that are specific, measurable, and achievable. This will help you stay focused and motivated throughout the process.
4. Be prepared to do the work
Therapy is not a passive process. It requires active engagement and effort on your part. Be prepared to do the work, both in and out of your therapy sessions. This may involve journaling, practicing mindfulness, engaging in self-reflection, or other activities that support your healing and growth.
5. Practice self-care
As you begin this process, it is important to prioritize self-care. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. Seek out supportive relationships with friends and loved ones, and be kind to yourself as you navigate the ups and downs of the therapeutic process.
Remember, therapy doesn’t always mean an upward trajectory in the way you feel right away. Sometimes, facing the deepest and most wounded parts of self can bring upon period of grief, sadness and even anger. However, these too, are crucial steps in the process of reconnection and reclamation of the total self. It may take time and effort to achieve the changes you are seeking but the awareness and insight you gain along the way are invaluable and can serve you and those close to you for years to come.
Why Self Reflection Matters
For years when I would tell people that I’m a therapist, their immediate response would be “Wait, are you analyzing me right now?” with a certain look of worry on their face. I always found this to be somewhat amusing, as that question in itself was the first point into which I’d mentally probe.
What is it about yourself that you are hiding, that you are afraid I’d see? This was a tell tale sign that the person wasn’t doing much self reflection.
For years, I operated on autopilot, believing my thoughts, emotions and actions were reflective of who I am or my personality. “I’m just a control freak, haha” I would repeat to anyone who would question or notice my hypervigilant tendencies, or “I get bored easy” was used as a way of explaining my inability to stay focused or committed. Perhaps you, the reader, can come up with a few excuses you tend to use as ways of explaining certain unconscious patterns. Have you ever wondered where these patterns come from? Why they feel so natural to you?
A few months ago, a new client told me she didn’t understand the point of meddling in the past, or taking apart her belief systems, she wanted to simply not be “so sensitive” and “emotional”. Upon some exploration into those self identifications and their importance, the client was able to recognize that she never had a chance to speak her mind fully in her childhood, was often told she imagined things that hurt her, and was rendered powerless because she stopped trusting herself based on those experiences. She was not “emotional”, but rather emotive, as we all are, but didn’t have the vocabulary or confidence to communicate her feelings effectively, and therefore would battle with them inside. This resulted in emotional outbursts and constant fights with her loved ones.
We can continue to live with a level of unawareness into our patterns, or we can become aware of them, understand how they have served us in the past, and then CHOOSE if we continue with them or not and to what capacity.
Self reflection matters because that is how we begin to understand our triggers and patterns and therefore accept ourselves in a whole new way.
Self reflection matters because it is the only way we can begin to heal from unresolved trauma and pain.
Self reflection matters because it is how we can take back responsibly and choice over our own experience.
My client would agree, I think, as her last email to me ended with “I’m no longer focused on changing others, and that is the most free I’ve ever felt”.
Online Therapy: What To Consider
With a steady rise of demand from the public, more and more practitioners are starting to offer counselling services online. For a client, this can be a really great option, especially if there are mobility issues, time restrictions or great distances that are in the way of in-person meetings. I am one of many therapists who does offer video sessions and genuinely believe that when appropriate*, this service can be a fantastic and accessible option for many seeking support. That being said, it is also important to recognize and evaluate the limitations of this service carefully before committing.
Below, I've listed a few important factors to consider before booking your first video therapy session, that you may find helpful.
1) Online therapy can never be 100% guaranteed to be confidential.
While there are many platforms offering video meetings, no online platform can ever guarantee that there would not be any unforeseen hacking or privacy compromise. Of course, the likelihood is very minimal, but it's always good to do some research on the platform offered before hand to ensure they comply with a certain standard of safety. I prefer doxy.me as it meets the standards of PHIPA ( Personal Health Information Protection Act) and has great video and quality audio, in addition to advanced security features!
2) You are in charge of your environment.
When you are in a therapists office, you can rely on the fact that the space was designed with your comfort and relaxation in mind. However, for online meetings, it is up to the client to ensure their comfort and privacy during the length of the session. It's important to consider possible interruptions, especially if you are home and not alone. Your seat, the temperature of the room, the lighting and the noise level are all contributing to the level of engagement and focus in session. Therefore, it is important to take the time and consider these various factors to get the most out of your appointment.
Oh yeah, and don't forget to turn that phone off too!
Hopefully, this blog was helpful for getting some clarity and perspective on the topic, but if you are interested in finding out more, or have any questions, please feel free to contact me!
*Disclaimer: Video therapy is not suggested for those who are seeking counselling for trauma or trauma related symptoms due to safety reasons, as triggered responses can vary and be unpredictable.
Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead!
Warmly,
Irina
5 Ways to Battle the Winter Blues
It's that time of year where the cold begins to envelop the city and settle deeply in our bones. This season has now broken a records for all time low temperature and looking around, it's easy to see the effects. More people are staying in on weekends, more frustrated commuters on the TTC, and there is less desire to do physical activity or partake in healthy eating habits. SAD ( Seasonal Affective Disorder) affects many of us in this part of the country, and while some can be affected to the point of being unable to perform daily tasks (2%-5%), many just struggle with feeling down, unmotivated and sluggish (15%).**
For us Canadians, these months can last for a while, and that's why there are many great resources online for supplementing for the winter blues. (Vitamin D is a must!) In addition to what is already out there, I wanted to list a few more easy daily practices that can help manage not just your physical or mental well-being, but also your emotions as we move through the season.
1. Morning Mantra
We've all heard that the way we begin our day sets the tone for the rest of it. In winter, many of us are waking up while it's still dark, which makes it so much more difficult and often results in us dragging ourselves out (after hitting the snooze button too many times) and mindlessly following our morning routine. However, this little life hack can begin your day with a bit more intention and positivity. Every evening before bed, write yourself a message/mantra that you would like to start the next day with, and put it under your pillow or on your nightstand. It can be as simple as "I feel motivated" or " I feel energetic", but do include the word FEEL as part of it, as a reminder to anchor emotionally. When you wake up, take a look at the piece of paper to remind yourself and repeat this message in your mind while you are still laying in bed, at least 10 to 15 times. As you do, focus on the emotion that you feel when you allow yourself to believe the message! This is a sneaky way to bypass our mind and set an emotional baseline for the day.
2. Shake it off
Sure, it would be ideal to get up and go to the gym to get that boost of serotonin first thing in the morning, but if you are dreading the idea, there are other ways we can connect to our body. Once you are out of bed, take a few moments to do a couple of basic stretches (i.e.rotating the neck, rolling the shoulders, stretching your hamstrings). Once you are done, begin to shake each part individually and then together. Start with each leg, then each arm, and allowing yourself to really let loose and shake yourself free of resistance and stiffness. Our bodies are in a constant state of contraction during winter months, and allowing it to expand through movement can affect our whole being! The looser the physical body, the looser our emotional and mental bodies become too!
*Tip: Do a forward fold and allow your head to hang loosely, with a micro bend in the knees and your arms resting where they land. Stay here for a few moments as having your head below your heart is great for your circulation and calms the nervous system.
3. Smile yourself into a better mood
One of my personal favorites, smiling therapy has gained a lot of merit due to it's effectiveness and simplicity. In fact, it's been discovered that that the same amount of endorphins are released in the brain regardless of whether the smile is real or fake. This means, even when we are smiling without the authentic emotion attached to it, our body doesn't know the difference and we are still reaping the therapeutic effects!
This therapy is even more effective when done in front of a mirror, so let yourself break into a grin first thing in the morning as you finish brushing your teeth, and sneak an extra few throughout the day!
4. Talk about your emotions
One of the most common misconceptions we have about being honest or authentic about feeling down is that others will dismiss us or change their view of us. But in fact, when we are able to share our truth, we inadvertently give others the permission to do the same. Talking about our emotions and how they affect us is an important part of our basic needs, as we are social beings looking to connect on a deeper level. We get so caught up projecting an image, we begin to suffer in silence, unnecessarily. So next time someone you trust asks you how are you doing, answer honestly and you will see that some of the weight is lifted just in sharing!
5. Hug, snuggle, kiss and hold
Physical touch is so important, especially in the cold winter months when our bodies are using up all that energy reserve to keep us warm. Fuel yourself emotionally and physically by giving longer and more frequent hugs to your loved ones. ( If they are ok with it, of course!) With partners or friends, hold hands, interlock legs, rest your head on their shoulder, share massages...keep that physical contact ongoing as it is known to improve overall quality of life, boost self esteem and strengthen our physical health.
Hope you all find this article helpful! Of course, if winter months are affecting you in ways that feel a bit too hard to manage, please reach out to a professional to get the help you need.
Wishing you lots of warmth,
Irina
Meditation: Tips for a Fruitful Practice
No matter where we look nowadays, we would be hard pressed not to come across an article, blog or a video telling us to meditate.
There is good reason why.
In the last decade alone, there have been countless studies conducted on the many benefits of this ancient practice. Schools across the world have begun to include it as part of regular curriculum, doctors and mental health professionals recommend it to patients suffering from a variety of illnesses or disorders, and corporate wellness programs are increasing their employee performance rates by offering it to their staff. Never mind that this practice has been around for thousands of years, the proof can be found in the present time!
So what is meditation exactly? It is an ancient practice that aims to bring one into full awareness of the present moment, and allows one to experience the center of consciousness within. This practice tunes us into our inner world, and away from our regular cognitive functioning, bringing clarity and grounding into our lives.
Meditation benefits are many and they are quite profound:
- Creates clarity and a deeper understanding of inner desires/patterns/habits/emotions
- Calms the nervous system, bringing it back to parasympathetic mode
- Reduces heart rate and decreases the production of cortisol, the stress hormone
- Increases mental alertness and flexibility
- Enables us to stay focused and calm in stressful or unpredictable situations
- Offers better awareness of self and our surroundings, being attuned more with other beings
- Increase in energy and productivity
- Ability to feel deeper joy and happiness in life
The list can go on and on.
I, myself, have meditated on and off for years. When I was in my “off” stage, I could really feel it. From my mood to my work and personal life, there was a constant feeling of being off keel. When hard life circumstance forced me to begin evaluating my lack of self-care, I went on a journey to reconnect with my rich inner world. The first stop: MEDITATION. Meditation brought the type of clarity into my life that reminded me of the many things we so often forget: my choice in the creation of every feeling and every reaction, my ability to change things I did not like or no longer served me, and the gift of experiencing true joy in just being. My yoga practice improved, my relationships with others and myself improved and even my career and direction in life changed in the best possible way! I attribute the ability to create those things in my life very much to my practice. Since then, I have facilitated many individuals and groups in starting a practice that is both sustainable and joyous and can be incorporated into their daily life. Below are some of the basics that I recommend you consider if you are looking to begin your journey.
Get excited!
First off, approach meditation in an inquisitive and playful manner. This practice is a gift, not a chore and our attitude towards it is integral to our commitment. I have had many clients say they don’t believe they can meditate because they can’t turn off their thoughts and that’s like saying that you can’t do yoga because you’re not flexible. That’s the whole purpose of the practice! Of course, no one is going to be able to turn off their thoughts completely, but we can master our mind and we can detach from its persistent and often redundant storyline for a deeper perspective and awareness. Simply put, success in meditation is not measured by the length of time without thought but rather simply in the practice itself.
Through comfort and discomfort
Whether you are partaking in walking meditation, sitting, or even laying down – comfort is key. If sitting, allow your hips to be higher than the knees by placing a cushion, pillow or block underneath you. This will be easier on the knees and can allow for a longer sit without the distraction of discomfort. If walking, buy comfortable shoes that provide full support! If and when discomfort does occur, see if you can let it go without it consuming your mind. Of course, if in pain, please readjust!
The Art of Looking
The gaze during meditation is important. Eyes are the windows to the soul, and it is through looking inward that we can truly get in touch with that beautiful essence. During your practice, you can try alternating between closing the eyes fully and having a soft gaze ( closing the eyes 90% and focusing the gaze on tip of the nose or third eye) Some people also enjoy meditating with open eyes, though it may create more distraction.
Prana: The Life Force
Breath is our life force! It sustains us but it also serves as a powerful detoxifier. Unfortunately, most of us have never really been taught the correct way of breathing. Majority of us take shallow breaths, strictly breathing with our lungs. That means our organs, our brain and our extremities are not being as fully nourished as they can be, which often results in susceptibility to anxiety, dissociation and panic attacks. On the other hand, sending the breath to our abdomen allows us to take in significantly more air, which calms our nervous system and helps quite the mind.
Tip: Begin by placing your right hand on your abdomen, just an inch below your belly button. Send each breath all the way down into your belly, pushing your stomach against your palm. As you exhale, send your navel far back into your spine to fully expel toxins. Take about 5 – 10 breaths like this before returning to your natural breath. The breath is the main anchor in meditation, so come back to the awareness and sensation of it when thoughts begin to arise.
Connect with intention:
Energy follows intention. What does this mean? When we are fully engaging with our desire, we become a clearer conduit for attracting that outcome. Aligning ourselves emotionally with our intention is a powerful practice, and can be a focus point for our meditation.
Tip: Set an intention before your practice by focusing on the emotion attached to your desired outcome. (i.e. sense of relief attached to being relaxed) Throughout your practice, periodically come back to this feeling as a way of reaffirming it to yourself.
Connect through sound:
I do recommend relaxing sound to compliment your practice, especially in the beginning, and there are lots of free resources online. You can choose nature sounds or soft relaxing melody, but make sure there are no lyrics, as those can be too distracting! (Here is a link to a free album I really enjoy, created by an artist named Moby http://moby.com/la1/)
In addition to the tips above, I encourage everyone to get curious and research various techniques available, and see if any resonate with you more than others. And if you are still a bit intimidated by the silent experience, I invite you to go online and find guided meditations, many available on YouTube. You can also join free meditation circles held around the city to become more acquainted and to connect to others on the same path.
I am wishing you all a joyous and fruitful practice, and would like to leave you with this wonderful quote by David Lynch, “The thing about meditation is; you become more and more you.”
Warmly,
Irina